The Lost Art of The Submission

Where has the submission gone? I've racked my brain for a while now, and the only submission finishers I can think of in the WWE right now are Ric Flair's Figure-Four and John Cena's STFU (unless you count Mark Henry's bear hug as being legitimate). A submission maneuver is a great way to end a match. Where have all of them gone?...

The Ankle Lock...The Crippler Crossface...The Sharpshooter...all of them are among the most exciting and versatile finishers in the history of the business. These finishers were used by only the best technical wrestlers in wrestling in order to highlight that specific characteristic: technically sound. Does this mean we no longer have any good technical wrestlers? Certainly not, the business has just changed!

WWE buys into the idea that a match is better ended with a pin than with a tap-out. They assume that a high-impact move is the best way to finish off a match. Here is a perfect example: CM Punk. If you recall, for his first several months in ECW CM Punk used the Anaconda Vice to make his opponents tap. Now, someone in WWE is having him use the Go-To-Sleep as his finisher. It's a cool move, but giving Punk a submission finisher really separated him from the rest of the wrestlers.

John Cena and Ric Flair are the only main-eventers that use submissions as finishers now. Flair's use of the Figure-Four only persists because he has used it his whole career. John Cena has used the STFU to win the main event at Wrestlemania for the past two years. The STFU is a very awkward submission. Cena often struggles to apply it and it comes out looking crappy. Why not let guys like Punk at least use the Anaconda Vice?

What happened to the submissions? You tell me.

Drew Arnold, writing for The Irish Whip

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WWE Will Have HUGE Success This Summer. Here's Why:

Right now, WWE seems to be in a bit of a lull. A couple factors go into this: they are coming off the backend of Wrestlemania and they a suffering through some major injuries to some major superstars. The good news for WWE is that both of these problems will solve themselves at around the same time...this summer.

Think of this:

Over the course of the next couple months, we will see the return of some major superstars. Rey Mysterio, Triple H, and (my favorite) MISTAAAAAA KENNEDY will all be returning and receiving main event roles in WWE programming. There are also reports that WWE would like to sign Chris Jericho in time for Summerslam. These main event superstars can provide much better mainstream interest than Bobby Lashley, the Great Khali, or Batista ever could.

Also, WWE should be emerging out out of its post-Wrestlemania lull around this time. Huge main eventers + huge stages like Summerslam = Success for the WWE.

I'm looking forward to this summer's WWE programming. I truly think that if WWE handles its storylines properly then over the course of the next year it will return to being a fixture of pop culture. Post your thoughts...

Drew Arnold, writing for The Irish Whip

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HBK and Cena: An Epic Battle

What a great main event on tonight's RAW. A nearly hour-long grappling duel which ended with Shawn Michaels pinning the Champ John Cena with Sweet Chin Music. There are a couple of things I would like to point out here that are very uncharacteristic of a WWE match:

- Firstly, I can't remember the last time in WWE that during a feud both wrestlers won clean. Obviously in the Cena-HBK feud, Cena won clean at Wrestlemania and Michaels won clean tonight. And what's even more astounding...WWE let Cena lose clean! When is the last time he lost clean? I have no idea! If somebody can find this information for me, you will forever gain my respect.

- Secondly, the fact that WWE put on an hour-long main event was as surprising as the fact that Cena lost. Normally to watch an hour-long match, you have to pop in a Ring of Honor DVD. WWE normally makes a huge deal out of matches like these, calling them "Iron Man" matches, making this a big surprise.

Overall, they did a great job with tonight's RAW. The beginning of the show was a little slow but the main event was truly epic. Final note: Cena wrestled well. Everybody likes to hate Cena (me too) but Cena has become a better wrestler over the course of this feud with HBK. We're seeing the same thing with MVP feuding with Chris Benoit and Carlito almost feuding with Ric Flair. It's a great way to improve these guys' skills in the ring.

Drew Arnold, writing for The Irish Whip

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Who will end The Undertaker's streak?

A guest column, by Langdon Beck:

For nearly on a decade and a half now, The Undertaker has been my favorite wrestler. I love the entrance, I love the character, I love the moves and for the most part, I love the matches. And every year when the Road to WrestleMania kicks off, I hope that whoever he's facing at that year's event doesn't end his winning streak. This is not because I'm fundamentally opposed to the streak ending; I'm not. I think that it should happen at some point. It's not like The Undertaker character will be forgotten without it, and it could literally make an entire career of whoever manages to achieve the feat. I don't think it'll happen this year but if it's going down, it's going down relatively soon. And it must, and this is the important thing, be to the right man. For simplicity's sake, I've narrowed the potential streak-enders down to the males currently on the active WWE rosters. Including Johnny Jeter, Paul Burchill, and Vladimir Koslov who are not currently committed to any one brand, there are 84 possibilities for the position of the man who ends the streak. Now, we begin the task of narrowing it down to the most likely contenders.

First of all, we can forget about those who have been established for a few years now, but have made no significant impact, i.e. the guys who appear on the flagship shows so infrequently that if you didn't check the internet, you'd barely know they were under contract at all. While we're at it, best forget about the cruiserweights too because, let's face it, a cruiserweight ending the streak just ain't happening (but for the moment, we'll keep the more high-profile members of the weight class in mind). Without these wrestlers, we now have 64 possibilities.

Next, we'll eliminate those who don't wrestle full time, or may be nearing the end of their careers. As good as Undertaker vs. Finlay or Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels would be, someone who's not going to be around for years and years to come shouldn't really be the one to beat Taker at WrestleMania. The man who wins has to have enough years of active competition left to really take advantage of the claim for a long time. Ending The Undertaker's winning streak should be enough to get, or keep, a younger guy over for a sustained period of time. If you're a part-timer, or if you're winding down or retiring in six months anyway, what good would ending the streak do your career in the long run? When we put this logic into action, we eliminate not only the likes of Finlay and HBK, but also Chris Benoit, Kane, and Batista, as well as the chance of returns from, or dream matches with, anyone from Stone Cold to The Rock to JBL, taking us down to approximately 35 contenders. We're more than half way there!

In the field of WWE, turning from a good guy to a bad guy and vice versa is a fairly regular occurrence (just ask Kurt Angle; he did it about three times a year. Of course, he does it three times a month in TNA right now, but I digress). Therefore, it's difficult to predict who's going to be cheered and who's going to be booed in a few months time, let alone in a couple of years, but it seems sensible to conclude that it's going to be a heel that'll beat Undertaker at Mania. Whoever does it will be booed for life (at least Id hope so -- I know I'd hate them forever) so not even WWE could expect the ending of the streak to be cheered. It's not necessarily that a face ending the streak would be a bad thing in itself - it's just that a heel would be able to take more advantage of it for a longer period of time. There's only so much momentum you could gain from it as a face. So, we can remove from the list anybody who looks like they'll be babyfaces or should be babyfaces for a long time to come. Consequently, RVD, Rey Mysterio and the Hardys are out of the running.

The streak-ender should, as I've said above, have longevity in terms of his career. That means no pulling a Brock, and nobody who's susceptible to injury, and nobody with short-term appeal, both in terms of gimmick and as a wrestler in general. This gets rid of a trio of monsters; Mark Henry, the Great Khali, and Umaga (who, good as he is, would be quite a likely candidate were it not for the fact that I can't see the gimmick being a long-term thing).

We're left with a pretty good couple of dozen guys now, but to narrow the field down further, it's going to get ruthless, so I'll get rid of anyone who has very little chance of becoming a World Champion in WWE during their career, because the man that beats Undertaker would surely have at least one championship reign in their future. If I also take Triple H out of the equation - as he's been at the top long enough to have absolutely no need to beat Undertaker at WrestleMania and doing so would do nothing for him - we're left with just over a dozen wrestlers. They are:

Carlito, CM Punk, Edge, John Cena, Johnny Nitro, Ken Kennedy, Kenny Dykstra, Lashley, Marquis Cor Von, Mike Knox, Randy Orton, Shelton Benjamin, and Test.

Hold on now. Mike Knox. MIKE KNOX? There'd be no way, right? Well? I'm not so sure about that, myself. From the sounds of Deep South Wrestling TV reports, the Knox we've seen on WWE TV is nowhere near the standard of DSW's Mike Knox. DSW's Mike Knox can wrestle and he can talk. Given the right opportunity he could shine in WWE, so he's in. For now. Except that since I've just taken him, Shelton Benjamin, Johnny Nitro, and Carlito out of the running.

Nine left. I'm hoping to be left with three contenders by the end of this, but that's probably not going to happen. I will now have a look in more detail at each of these wrestlers and what ending the streak could do for them.

CM Punk: It could do the world for him. People like Punk, but in my opinion, he's a better heel than a babyface. A move to one of the two big brands is likely forthcoming, and let's say he took on Undertaker as a good guy. It'd be a competitive match - a size difference for sure, but that didn't affect Shawn Michaels or Bret Hart in their matches with Taker. Punk might pull off the upset win and follow it with a cheap attack and a variation on his "you stupid old man, I'm a snake" promo from ROH. Instant mega-heel, which, with Punk's charisma, would continue for a long time. It'd make him.

Edge: He's been WWE Champion a couple of times, sure, but in between reigns, he's been shifted up and down the card in various places. A win over Undertaker would cement him firmly at the very highest echelon. The match would be one to remember (I can't be the only one who thinks they'd match up well?) and hey, if I remember correctly, Edge is unbeaten at WrestleMania too. It writes itself.

John Cena: It'd only work if Cena became a long-term heel. I don't see that happening, so Cena is officially out of contention.

Ken Kennedy: Like with Punk, ending the streak would make Kennedy. But he and Undertaker have already had a big rivalry, and Kennedy already has plenty going for him (the nearly-legit claim to have defeated half a dozen World Champions, for one thing). A win would undeniably do him wonders, but does he need it? I'm not 100% sure, so I'm afraid he's out.

Kenny Dykstra: He did, in years past, describe himself as a WrestleMania Moment Waiting To Happen, and this could be that moment. He's got the personality and attitude to pull it off, and would benefit magnificently from a win. My only concern would be age. The streak-ender should be young, but would Dykstra, in his early twenties, be TOO young? Taker's streak should probably end while he's still relatively young, but while that's true, if Dykstra were to beat him at age 24, he still has decades of career left. If WWE were to wait until Kenny was in his late twenties, Undertaker will be nearing, if not in, his fifties, and beating him might become like beating Ric Flair is now; still an accomplishment, but not as big an achievement as it once was. Sadly, Dykstra's out.

Lashley: First things first, if Lashley were to do this he'd need a manager or a mouthpiece. Good mic skills are essential for whoever ends the streak to fully capitalize on it, and Lashley can't do that - at least, not by himself. Other than this problem, if Lashley were a heel, this would be all he needed to keep himself right up at the top of the heap. But if not, the honor would be wasted on him. I have a feeling Lashley's future will favor being the good guy, so, despite a Taker-Lashley contest likely being an entertaining one, he's out of contention.

Marquis Cor Von: Can I just call him Monty Brown? It just sounds so much less ... I don't know ... ridiculous. But anyway, this is another guy for whom ending Undertaker's streak would be a career maker - in a few years' time when he's more established, that is. He's certainly got the charisma to pull it off. Could be another one of those "a new era has begun" moments. The Alpha Male is definitely in the running.

Randy Orton: It has been done before, but it could be done again with the outcomes reversed. But I have reservations - Orton's been near or at the top a number of times before and has never really been able to keep himself there effectively. Winning against Undertaker would be great for him, but he may not be able to take advantage of it as successfully as someone else. Orton's out.

Test: Test? Seriously? Yeah, seriously. WWE likes him (when they're not firing him, that is) and he'll probably be around for a while, but he's never really been able to get over. This could be the thing that does it for him. It's a long shot, so Test is out.

CM Punk. Edge. Marquis Cor Von. Test. If The Undertaker is to lose a WrestleMania match, I think (or perhaps I hope) it will be one of these men. They would make the most out of it, and in turn, it would make the most out of them.


Article written by Langdon Beck, Article edited by Benjamin Zeidler

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STFU...WTF?

The most dangerous submission move in wrestling is not the Sharpshooter, nor is it the Crippler Crossface. It's not the Ankle Lock and it certainly isn't the Walls of Jericho. No, the most dangerous submission in the game, or at least according to the WWE writers, is John Cena's expertly-applied STFU.

For those of you unware of the move, the STFU is more or less the STF (Stepover Toehold Facelock) invented by Lou Thesz, one of wrestling's finest. You've probably heard Good Old JR get a little too excited when Stone Cold hits a "Lou Thesz press." Same guy. Despite the fact that Cena can barely put the damn move on, everyone and their mother seems to be tapping out to it.

Triple H, who has faced Cactus Jack in both a Street Fight and a Hell in a Cell, couldn't handle the immense pain and tapped at last year's WrestleMania. Shawn Michaels, who got put in an uncountable number of Sharpshooters at WrestleMania 12, tapped out last month at WrestleMania 23. Umaga, built to be some immovable object, tapped out at New Year's Revolution. And finally, Chris Benoit, who has made his name by submitting other wrestlers, tapped CLEAN to the STFU.

I wouldn't have such an issue if this were an awesome move (it's not), Cena was supposed to be a technical wrestler (he's not), Cena could apply the damn thing (he can't), and he wasn't submitting some of the toughest wrestlers of the last decade (unfortunately, he is).

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WrestleMania 23 notes

Overall, a great show. An excellent PPV by any WWE standards. An excellent WrestleMania? Time and the fans will tell.

I must say that I was disappointed in Cena retaining the belt. I just don't believe that he was/is/will ever be capable of beating Michaels clean. Even more shocking is that the victory was by submission. We're talking about the man who was turned into a pretzel by Bret Hart for a solid five years. And he taps out to an STFU, applied by a "PG-13 Stone Cold?" No way. Drew has the theory dead on about McMahon favorites. He'll push his over-muscled friends no matter how much the crowd boos. And did they ever boo Cena...

The ECW match was awful. Downright terrible. It didn't even matter who won. It was the fact that Sandman, Sabu, and Dreamer were being asked to take part in a match in which no chairs, ladders, or tables were used which made it not enjoyable for me. You can't ask these men to wrestle! Beyond RVD, none of the originals know an ankle lock from a sidewalk slam.

My most surprising event of the night was when Melina beat Ashley. Prior to the match, I noted to Drew that "I'm more sure that Ashley will win than anything I've been sure of before."
It just doesn't make sense to me...she's in Playboy, shes getting the press, give her the belt!

Best call of the night: JR after the King gave him a hard time for smiling while McMahon was being shaved: "I do have Bell's Palsy."

Best move of the night: Either Jeff Hardy's leg drop through Edge or Taker's leap over the ropes. I know Hardy was impressive, but let's all just think for a moment about what it would take to put a 6'10", 328 lb. man over a rope 5 or so feet in the air.

Biggest question of the night: Is Edge dead?

Good show overall...looking forward to RAW tonight and next year's WrestleMania...outdoors!

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Wrestlemania Predictions

The Irish Whip reporting...

Here come my impressive and intelligent predictions for Wrestlemania 23, feel free to object by posting.

CHRIS BENOIT vs. MVP for the US CHAMPIONSHIP
This kills...but I predict that Benoit will drop the belt. Here's where it gets interesting - Benoit will lose due to interference from a RAW superstar, causing him to move to RAW after Wrestlemania. This goes along with the rumors that have been circulating for a while that he will do so. Plausible?
Winner: MVP

KANE vs. THE GREAT KHALI
Khali will somehow win this one so that Kane can take some time off. Other people online have been calling for the injury angle to be played here, and I agree with that speculation.
Winner: THE GREAT KHALI

MELINA vs. ASHLEY for the WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
Ashley will clearly win. She's the top Diva in the company now, and in my opinion she's turned herself into a pretty good wrestler. I actually expect this to be a pretty good match.
Winner: ASHLEY

ECW ORIGINALS vs. NEW BREED
New Breed has this one in the bag. There's no way that WWE will stick with Sabu and Sandman in the long run, and they seem to want to give Elijah Burke a big push. Here's where it begins. I wouldn't be surprised if the New Breed won this match clean.
Winner: NEW BREED

MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
There has been much speculation over who will win this match. Let's pick a winner via elimination:
Finley is out, he's just in there to be the ring general.
King Booker? Clearly won't win.
Jeff and Matt Hardy are in there to have some huge spots, not to win the match.
CM Punk could win, and many folks have picked him, but I just don't see WWE letting him win this match. They definitely
wouldn't have him feud with Lashley.
Randy Orton will not win this match...something will happen in this match to cause him to turn face and feud with...
Edge. His Wrestlemania winning streak will be broken and like I said before, he will feud with Orton.
The winner of this match is Kennedy!...Kennedy. It's finally time for his main event push.

BATISTA vs. UNDERTAKER for the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Will Taker's streak finally be broken at Wrestlemania? Not today, and NOT to Batista.
Winner: UNDERTAKER

JOHN CENA vs. SHAWN MICHAELS for the WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
From all that I've read, people are going about 50-50 on this match, and I'm kind of feeling the same way. So, I choose to lean towards the side of WWE's writers and Vince McMahon's opinions. Plus...how could John Cena win clean over Triple H one year and lose to Shawn Michaels the next? Cena is WWE's long term investment, they will have him win tonight at Wrestlemania.
Winner: JOHN CENA

BOBBY LASHLEY vs. UMAGA, DONALD TRUMP vs. VINCE MCMAHON
I will not only predict the winner of this match, I will predict the content of this match. First of all, I think this will be the main event. I certainly don't think it should be, but I think it will be. Secondly, Bobby Lashley will win it. No way he loses: Vince McMahon loves him enough to have his own head shaved. Thirdly, the locker room will clear out and many of the faces will take part in shaving Vince's head. Fourthly, Stone Cold Steve Austin will deliver a stunner not only to Vince McMahon, but also to DONALD TRUMP. These are my predictions for this match, let's see how many of them come true.
Winner: BOBBY LASHLEY

That's the card! Again, please post some responses and let's see some debate going. I will make a post-Wrestlemania post to address how my predictions went.

- Drew Arnold, writing for the Irish Whip

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